March 2011
3 posts
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Best Dream Ever.
I had a great dream. I am watching a the World Championship Rock Wall Climbing Competition, except the rock walls are shaped like volcanoes, and, instead of rock walls, they are like jungle gyms. You know, like the metal bar structures that we used to play on as children? I am watching people battle it out on over-sized jungle gyms, and, all of a sudden, GUNFIRE!
Koreans were invading (I knew...
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February 2011
4 posts
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“Say you go for it with Pedro. You really decide to let your guard down with...”
– Rebecca, on the most recent episode of Greek
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January 2011
5 posts
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How I feel today →
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how i feel when i binge eat (aka every single...
binge binge binge binge binge eat. binge eat binge eat. pancakes, fritos, chex mix, ice cream, binge eat. binge eat binge eat binge binge binge binge binge binge eat eat eat eat eat eat binge eat binge eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat binge eat binge binge binge binge binge pancakes, fritos, chex mix, ice cream, binge eat binge binge binge eat binge eat. pause stop start. binge binge binge...
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December 2010
3 posts
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Days I wish I was half Persian or Lebanese: All of them.
Days I wish I was half Asian: All of them.
Days I wish I was one-half Persian or Lebanese and one-half Asian: All of the days!!!
Unfortunately, freckles do not count as dark skin and obscene intelligence does not make me Asian. I’ve not yet decided on a reproductive future, but I have already committed to birthing only beautiful,...
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November 2010
17 posts
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I have cried so much lately. I cry because I am happy, I cry because I am sad, I cry because I am touched, I cry because I am anxious, I cry because I am tired, I cry because I am embarrassed, I cry because I am excited. Etc. I cry far more than the normal person, so for me to notice excessive tears is a big deal. I hope this bawling is temporary.
Perhaps I have been crying because of my...
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WAHHH.
I have no ice cream.
But at least I saw masked performers on the subway!
If I had cable, I would watch America’s Best Dance Crew. And Sister Wives! Now, I am reduced to stalking the Polyamory subreddit, which is way creepier.
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Sweet Potatoes
I am only interested in dinner and/or dessert if they/it include/s the following:
peanut butter
cookies
frosting
sweet potatoes
nuts
Each night, I speed through a big bowl of vegetables so that I may binge on the above sweets.
Today, I tested a sweet potato recipe for Thanksgiving. Luckily, it turned out very well. Unluckily, that means that I am alone in an apartment full of sweet...
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I would like to publicly state that Cal was not my consolation college. Contrary to popular world opinion, not every Berkeley student is a rejected Stanford applicant.
Who would not choose the college at which security guards body slam the opposition’s football fans?
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I ate all the cookies in my apartment. Every last one. Not a good way for an anorexic to start her Friday night!
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The Printing Process!
Explored the Natural History Museum yesterday. Went to Shake Shack tonight. Might hit up the Statue of Liberty tomorrow. I’m owning this “unemployed in Manhattan” thing.*
*Only because Eric makes me do stuff. Thanks, dude!
Regarding the Natural History Museum:
(Cross section of 1300-year-old Sequoia with historical timeline along its radius.)
Holy heck, is the...
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"Williamsburg is the Berkeley of New York." →
At the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear, someone carried a sign that read “Nobody is Hitler (except Hitler).” I think an analogous sign would be applicable here. If it is not Berkeley, then it is not Berkeley.
Good thing the rally-goer did not specify the inappropriateness of comparing cities to Hitler!
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My most maternal instinct ever.
Today, I saw a picture of a month-old baby and I thought he was cute.
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I read a story about a baby delivery and I vomited. I had to go in the bathroom and sit with my head between my legs. I am still shaking. I am never having kids.
Hate List
I hate:
Relationships, commitment, not having a set goal, not being an athlete, stupid artistic light displays—WTHeck even is that, sluts unless they are my friends, coffee so much, dairy, not being able to love dairy, my stomach, my GI system, Kaiser health care, teeth, the internet in this apartment, not being near any Safeways, that Costco and Target are both in Harlem, long distance,...
jcud / What the fuck has Obama done so far? →
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I am going back to California and getting high every day until it is legal. (Don’t worry, it will be legal when I do it because I need it for medicinal use.) California election results came back much better than I expected, but the entire country does not live in my liberal bubble and that is devastatingly terrifying.
Restoring fear, indeed.
Really, though, the results could have...
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I just googled California is the best state and I miss the Bay Area. Both true.
October 2010
8 posts
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Why other people suck.
I feel like when I went through my post-college crisis, most people (discounting my family, Katie, and Eric) were like, “Ok, cool, can’t deal with this, talk to you in a year,” and now that everyone else is going through their post-college crises, they’re like, “Oh my gosh, not being in college is hard.”
Uh, yeah. Good luck figuring that out by yourself. And...
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So obviously desperate....
I want to go home I want to go home I want to go home I want to go home. I do not hate New York, but I hate not being in California. I hate missing my family, my friends, and Dan.
I hate being sick each day. I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate being sick every every every every every every day. I want my intestinal tract to process food normally and I don’t...
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New York, Same Stuff
Yesterday, I went to the Farmer’s Market, bought soup from Whole Foods, watched the Cal game at a bar, and wandered the city streets. Today, I stayed in bed sick all day. If it not for the expensive food and absence of Asians (except at the Cal bar, of course), I would never know I had left California!
I guess coming to New York does not change my intrinsic character.
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Awesome!
Today my boyfriend called me awesome and it made me feel…awesome. I cannot want more than to be loved and cared for and desired, and I feel so lucky that, on top of all of that, he likes me in a down-to-earth, high-fiving, friendly sort of way.
My boyfriend thinks I’m cool and it has turned me into a teenybopping, pre-pubescent girl whose crush just wrote on her facebook wall or...
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Real life lessons
It’s a good thing I’ve been studying Friends for the past three years because tomorrow I am Ross-ing my hotel. Batteries, salt, lightbulbs, apples…it’s all fair game.
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mememememe
I’m leaving tomorrow for New York City. I’m going to be gone for an indefinite period of time. I’m bringing a suitcase and a purse. I’m packing only the essentials plus two or three swimsuits (is it bikini season there?). I’m planning on stealing as many hotel amenities as I can. I’m not sure what it will be like and not sure how it will turn out....
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Bad Apple
I have never liked my thighs or my butt. EVER. They have always been disproportionately large compared to the rest of my body. Except my boobs—they are proportionate compared to those things. But they are way bigger than my waist and I haaaate it. And I don’t like the shape with the thutts (that’s thigh butt, which is like a saddlebag, which is like the side of my thigh) and...
September 2010
16 posts
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I'll be like a plant!
I want a baby in my tummy so that, when I put my hand on my belly, I feel life. I don’t feel the urge to have a baby, but I do feel the urge to someday grow one inside of me.
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Skinnamarink-ee-dink-ee-dink,...
I love you.
I love you in the morning, And in the afternoon. I love you in the evening, And underneath the moon.
Toaster pastries should not exist.
Need more now. Want to cry.
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Rockin' Robin
Instead of worrying about:
Moving away
Staying here
Finding a job
Seeing Dan
Not exercising
Gaining weight
Having no idea where my life is headed or what will happen
Having no confidence about where my life is headed or what will happen
Massive depression
Anxiety disorder
Anorexia Nervosa
Incredibly painful intestinal disorders
I am going to worry about twitter. Should I get an...
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Ice cream fills in the (emotional) cracks.
Today I was sick, so I ate tons of green beans and even MORE dessert. Ice cream heals! It also gives me the sugar-shakes. I think I might regret this in five minutes…or five minutes ago.
This is a recurring problem, and I’m sure a metaphor for something meaningful. I should see a psychiatrist to work-out this and many other issues, but I don’t like therapy. I prefer to...
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The Vertigo High.
I am nauseous, dizzy, and have a terribly cramped tummy. Um…why does this keep happening? It is so strange. It is also annoying; I want to swim in the morning, not throw up! The upside is that the constant out-of-body experience makes me feel like I am on drugs without having to take any.
Today was great because I saw Katie—one of five people who completely understand me—and...