I hate:
Relationships, commitment, not having a set goal, not being an athlete, stupid artistic light displays—WTHeck even is that, sluts unless they are my friends, coffee so much, dairy, not being able to love dairy, my stomach, my GI system, Kaiser health care, teeth, the internet in this apartment, not being near any Safeways, that Costco and Target are both in Harlem, long distance, eating disorders, when my friends have eating disorders, when I have to help my friends with eating disorders even though I am still dealing with the ramifications of my own anorexia, that my bulimic friend is all gross and skinny and all I can think about is that she is skinny and I am not, that I know I am thin but can’t see it, anorexia, throwing away food because I “can’t” eat it, having to make three meals in order to find one thing I will eat, frozen yogurt for lunch, that people compliment my sister far more often than people compliment me, that perfect may be an unattainable aspiration, but that I will never stop trying to reach it, non-edited writing, telling Dan secrets that I had previously kept for four years, ugly people, people who pretend to be happy when they are not happy, not having a shopping habit and therefore not having a wardrobe, my long hippie hair, my unkempt eyebrows, slow and fast walkers, gluten intolerance, many bad habits, most modern art, when my roommate comes home and the shoddy internet completely stops working, waste, that I am too lazy to not waste, hos, things that happened four years ago that I will never ever forget, how sick alcohol makes me because I think I would make a good alcoholic, feeling so hateful toward so many things.
